You, yeah you single woman who “had no idea her liquids needed to be in a ziplock baggie,” you’re ruining the airport for the rest of us! Unless it’s your first flight ever, there are some things that simply need to be done. For example, weigh your bag before you come, no more of that throwing-things-out-at-the-check-in-counter stuff. Don’t wear a belt, or at least take it off during the long-ass security line. Wear socks and empty your pockets beforehand.

The security line goes like this: bin for laptop (separate bin for other large electronic devices), bin for shoes, phone, purse and scarves (yes, you have to take them off). An empty, metal-free body equals a clean walk through and a fast security line.

2) Try your best to ignore everyone…

Because if you don’t, the Ziploc-baggie lady will not start your travel off well. You’re not on the plane to meet your new best friend or significant other, so keep your trap shut. Plus, everyone on earth is annoying so if you pay attention, you’re sure to be annoyed, just exasperating your already short fuse after a long day.

3) …But don’t be rude

That being said, being a bitch won’t get you anywhere (in the airport as in life) so there’s no need to be rude. Give a quick smile to a neighbor, help someone stow their luggage (unless you’re my height in which case you will definitely not be helping) and, as always, say your pleases and thank you’s!

4) Make a plan of attack before your flight…

Your plan of attack is your sleep schedule. The trick is to base it off of the time zone that you’re flying to. So when I fly to Milan, I know that my sleep schedule is six hours off of my destination’s time. I usually leave in the late afternoon/early evening EST and arrive in Milan anywhere from 7-9:00 a.m. (A.M.!) so if I don’t sleep, it means I’ll be skipping an entire night and will have more trouble getting over the jet lag. Calculate the time difference and plan your flight time activities accordingly.

5) …But don’t freak out if you can’t sleep.

That being said, few people can sleep on planes and no one sleeps well on planes. (If you know someone, bring them to me so I can learn the ways of their voodoo magic.) Like my mamma always says: “Even resting is better than nothing.” On said flight to Milan, I climb aboard, wait until takeoff and pass out (aka, fake sleep), ignoring mealtimes, whether the lights are on or off and the passengers who laugh out loud at private films (see #2)

6) Don’t eat the airplane dinner! 

Or lunch or breakfast for that matter. I knoooow I know, it’s freeee and there’s nothing else to do and it’s not that baaaad, right? WRONG. It’s disgusting and created by God-knows-who and made with God-knows-what. Think I’m a snob? Oh well, because my digestive track is calm and my naps aren’t interrupted by stewardesses. Bring snacks instead!

7) Bring toys

Remember how your mom always brought weird magnetic toys or notebooks and crayons to play with on flights as a kid? Well I do, and I loved it. Perhaps you have a daytime flight and won’t be needing any sleep, or perhaps you can’t handle my tip number 5 (we’ve all been there), have a back-up plan because the individual movie screens are broken more often than not and kung-fu panda was only good the first two times. I bring a big-ass book (you know, a travel-sized book, in this case meaning thick enough for hours of air-time) one to two magazines and perhaps an electronic device if I’m feeling feisty.

8) Sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride

In essence, this is what it’s all about, because in the end there’s no way to get there faster and hey, a long flight means you’re traveling right? Soon you’ll be at your destination to explore, relax or whatever – and aren’t you lucky!

Too much luggage and not enough sleep...

Too much luggage and not enough sleep…but happy to be here!


Written by ginamussio


Gina Peart

Laughing Ginamarie! This is so funny and the picture to finish your post is priceless!!! Good one honey, you are so cute! xoxo


Here is my revision on your tips for those who HATE FLYING!
They go along with number 2, and number 6!
The dreaded Ziploc-baggie lady….Did you know that those “liquids” of hair products, creams, toothpaste, and mouth wash can be swap out for something of actually use while flying!?!? I mean come on. I know that you use those products once you reach your destination, but they are also easily acquired, and most of the time free at a hotel!!!! Any who, screw those liquids and wait for it…..pack your own…..wait for it…..BOOZE! Yes, I said it, Booze!! Did you know those liquor bottles that are “airplane size” are the exact “regulation” size of 3 fl. Oz to be exact?!?! Suck it Ziploc-bag lady! IN YO FACE! As long as they aren’t in glass bottles, you are good to go! So next time drink lady comes by, ask for that free, soda, or coffee, and spike the SHIT OUT OF IT! Not only are you saving money by not buying their booze, I bet you could fall asleep faster, or have your nerves completely sedated the entire trip! Safe travels, and know your cousin will be highly intoxicated once she reaches land in Italy See you in 2015!


I’m lucky enough to pass out before the plane has reached cruising altitude. Though I usually can’t sleep for more than half the flight. Do you have any type of book to take with you for travel? I’ve been grabbing Dickens or Hemingway for my past few flights.


You are lucky! I can sleep but not if the flight is in solid day-time hours (like from Europe to America). I take whatever book I have on my reading list next! It has to be one I haven’t started yet or just started – that way it will last the entire flight!


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